Thursday, November 17, 2011
But that's not the point of this post. For my 5th Halloween I asked my mother if there was any way I could be Superman. "Of course." she said and then set about making me a costume out of whole cloth. At first I was bummed because all the other kids had the store bought version. What if she get's it wrong? But my mother hated synthetic fabrics, and things she felt were "commercial crap", and so she made one complete with a red and yellow felt emblem and a satin cape. Fuck. I didn't want a special outfit I just wanted what everyone else had. My mother was always keen to keep me from being like everyone else. I was not into it.
Well the big day came. The suit? It was, in a word, awesome. It looked more like the actual costume than the store bought ones which were essentially flammable plastic dry cleaning death bags with Superman painted on them. Still it was not like Peter Steven's costume and I was still apprehensive... until I put it on.
I, like many people, for most of my life, have suffered from low self esteem. Even as a really young dude for some reason I always felt one step behind and always short of really getting it. "It" being life. But as soon I put that blue shirt with the felt "S" on I was transformed. But not transformed like I thought I was the man of steel. Transformed as in this piece of clothing makes me feel more like me - the guy who I came here to be. A guy who likes to dress it the FUCK up! I like who I am in this. This "costume" on a certain level assuages the self doubt I have about myself. I don't have to tell you that low self esteem is a thing we do to ourselves. It's a way we keep ourselves from winning, from doing and from being. Essentially we sabotage ourselves. "You can't pull that off, have that, achieve that, become that, know that, understand that, read that, watch that, date that, wear that." We become the enemy. Well I say FUCK that.
That Halloween I discovered that certain clothes make me feel better. I believe in clothes as an agent of personal change. They are a way of anointing yourself awesome or super. From that time 'til now I've come to believe that you can indeed outdress the enemy.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
I use pens all the time (mostly for good don't worry) but it has only come to my attention what a powerful tool it really is. If you have a pen handy, you have a clear passage way into the world of finger art. I urge you to use your pen's and fingers wisely and often.
|The only mustache that isn't bugging me right now|
|Classic old timey robbery|